Some friends and I were talking about writing the other day.  Doris, a mom of four and a grandmother, too, mentioned that her daughter had completed a remarkable little family book to give them as a wedding anniversary present.  It was special, Doris said, because the book was born of a dream her husband, Clyde, had 20 years ago.  He dreamed about two funny cartoon characters names Whisper Kitty and Shillelagh Boom, a mouse.  The family remembered Clyde’s dream over the years, but nothing was ever done about it. Then, their daughter, Gayle Cartland, an Ishpeming wife and mom, wrote and illustrated the tiny book called, “Family Soup: From the adventures of Whisper Kitty and Shillelagh Boom.”

Although I can’t capture the charm of the tiny book, its pages tied together with ribbons, I’ll try to give you an idea of the content. It goes something like this:

(Cover: The title and a good drawing of a fluffy, friendly cat.   The book continues page by illustrated page, each one featuring a family member.)

Kitty Whisper narrates, “Tonight before dinner I took a little nap. I smelled somethin’ cookin’ as I slept in sister’s lap.” (Illustration: Kitty Whisper sleeps on a young girls’ lap as the child reads in a large comfortable chair.

 “I dreamt of my family and their different ways of lovin’. . . As something boiled and gurgled on the stove over the oven.”  (The faces of family members surround the copy.)

“Mother is a tasty broth that warms me through and through.” (Mother, a pleasant good-looking woman stands, cradling Whisper Kitty in her arms. A ball of yarn is on the floor.)

“Father is the hearty meat, sustaining, tender, and true.  (Father sits rather formally with his hands on his knees. Whisper Kitty is sitting on his head.)

“Sister is my vegetable, adding color and appeal.”  (A pretty girl, curly hair piled up high on her beribboned head poses formally with Kitty Whisper and a bouquet. The page is bordered with vegetables and hearts.)

 “Brother is the spice that puts a zing in every meal! (The page’s art is quite modern; it is filled with a half face of Kitty Whisper, delicate whiskers and part of a pink nose showing. The kitten’s eye, however, is the surprise art since the pupil of it is her brother, a sweet boy.)

“Oh dread! Here comes Shillelagh Boom slinking into my Dream!  Why couldn’t he keep his grimy paws off my family tureen!  (A shillelagh-carrying mouse peeks around the corner of the porch. Small as he is, he has tipped a pail of water over.)

“I suppose I must include him and this lovely scene give up.” (The illustration explains the sarcasm as Shillelagh Boom has, indeed, tipped the water pail over the porch rail on top of Kitty Whisper.) This nearly ends the book, but at the bottom, Kitty Whisper gives us her opinion of Shillelagh Boom: “He really is a hairball at the bottom of my cup.” (A bomb with a long fuse edges up the page and the last word—a surprise ending, perhaps, is “BOOM!”  Of course, no one appears hurt.

I was even more impressed when I tired to write a similar book about our family. My thoughts took a turn of their own; they became a book about a zoo with both domesticated and exotic animals. I forced my focus back to food, but this resulted in a stew rather than a soup, and one with some very odd ingredients. Without naming family members, the ingredients they represented include artichokes, beef jerky, smelt, sunflower seeds, many fruits and a few pepper flakes. I had to give up.

Try, Dear Readers, to envision your families as a soup, stew, or zoo—or place them in cabinet positions in the White House, if you prefer. Let me know what you came up with.

Sally Ketchum writes, cooks, and gardens from northern Michigan.  Reach her at ketchum1985@gmail.com or through The Record Eagle. Ketchum realized she might have a calling to write about food when, years ago, a neighborhood toddler called her Salad Ketchup.

RECIPE:

Ketchum Family’s Beef Stew

(Adjust ingredients to preference)

1 ½ lb. sirloin steak

Flour and Montreal Steak Seasoning to coat

1-tablespoon canola oil

2 14-ounce cans beef broth, divided

3 medium carrots, sliced on the diagonal into chunks

2 stalks celery

Celery leaves, chopped –as much as there are in one bunch of celery

2 large onions, chopped or 5 small ones, halved

1/8 teaspoon each of dried herbs: thyme, rosemary, and sage

1 good dash of red pepper flakes

3 beef cullion cubes

1/3-cup cornstarch

½ cup V-8 juice, tomato juice or cold water

Heat a slow cooker to medium. Sprinkle sirloin well with Montreal Steak Seasoning. Pat the seasoning into the steaks. Cut steak in to 1-inch chunks. Put enough flour (about ¾ cup) into a plastic bag, add the steak chunks and shake to coat the pieces.  Heat oil in sauté pan to medium hot. Brown steak pieces. Add to slow cooker.  Deglaze pan with the beef broth and add to cooker.  Add carrots, celery, celery leaves, onions, and bullion cubes. If necessary, add water to cover. Cook until the meat is tender, about 4 hours or more. (Raise or lower the heat of the cooker to shorten or lengthen the cooking time as desired.)  In a small saucepan mix the cornstarch with the V-8, tomato juice or water. Add 1 can beef broth. Bring to a boil, and boil 1 minute to thicken. (Often slow cookers will not thicken sauces.) Return thickened broth to slow cooker and stir.

Isle Widmann, Polly Balleau and The Pillsbury Dough Boy are pulling things out of my mind’s oven in these days. Isle was German, and although I don’t know if she sketched or painted, I do know that the crafts and cookies that passed through her hands were magical. She knew how to craft with paper, origami, serpentine, and such. And her Christmas cookies, varied, beautiful and delicious, were also exquisite. Yet one stood out: Her Moravian Christmas cookies. They are basically a ginger snap, but that isn’t the telling factor.

Isle’s cookies were paper-thin. Truly paper-thin, I’ve seen thicker potato chips. Moravian Cookies are a Christmas classic and the recipe is  in most comprehensive cookbooks. The point is that no one, no one I know, can roll those cookies as thin as Ilse's. All others are mere gingersnaps. One cookbook says, “Roll dough 1/8^th inch thick, but 1/16^th is better.” Ha! No, true Moravian cookies are as thin as a common envelope. I can only say, try to make them. Follow the recipe exactly. Do keep dough you’re are not working with wrapped and in the fridge. I wish you “thin.”

Polly was a faculty wife when He-Who-Must-Be-Fed and I taught at Albion College. Her cookies, too, were perfect, but they differed from Isle’s.  They were artworks of form and color. Their surfaces were painted with delicate blushes or varnished to a shine or covered with a sugar coating so even, it looked like snow fall on a windless day. One look at them, and you realized that hours and hours went into the cookies. You were more tempted to take them home than to eat them.

Now we come to The Dough Boy, and most of the year I have nothing against the pale kid. But frankly, I’d like to leave him out of Christmas.  How many of you have used those convenient slice ‘n bake rolls?   I have, but I stopped several years ago because they just aren’t Christmas cookies to me. Sociologists and anthropologists who have studied winter celebrations in many countries and through the ages agree that Christmas gifts must be expensive, in time or in value/money. (HWMBF says, “also in sugar”)  Slice 'n bake cookies are quick, and the rolls are not only inexpensive, but also are usually on sale.

My first bad (and embarrassing) experience with the cookies was a sub-division cookie exchange.  It was well attended and the ladies were good friends, but every single woman brought slice ‘n bakes. Oh, some were hopelessly disguised, several with green and red sugar, others with a Hershey kiss on top, but the were the Dough Boy’s special, and everyone knew it.

My second lesson involved a box of cookies that I sent to my California son. I had baked our traditional chocolate lebkuchen. HHMBF loves it since you put whisky on the dough and let the bowl sit in the kitchen three days before you bake it. It fills the house with a fragrance that can only be described as “Christmas.” I had baked our other favorites, mostly easy though delicious, the rum balls, Isle’s (way too thick), almond crescents, holiday nut drops, Chinese chews and date-filled cream cheese cookies. But, the box was not full. All the pretty cookies were carefully stacked in order, but one corner was empty and gaping at me. “Dough Boy to the rescue!”  I thought. So I held off until I got to the store to get a couple of slice ‘ bake cookie rolls.  Back home, I sliced, baked and filled the box and off it went.

My son appreciated my labors, I think. I know he called when he opened the box. And he said: “Hi mom, thanks for those cookies. You didn’t bake the white ones with the green Christmas trees and the red reindeer, did you?”  I was shattered, shattered just as much as one of Else’s Moravian cookies when you take your first bite and hold your hand under your mouth to catch the gingery crumbs.

I recently read that you can (“easily,” “conveniently,” “craftily”) buy a roll of slice ‘n bake cookies and add flour until you get a really stiff dough. Then cut out ornaments (not cookies), using a straw to make a hole for the string to hang them before baking. Sounds interesting. I’d try it, but I would be humiliated if a friend saw me at the freezer counter, holding a slice ‘n bake roll with a green wreath or red Santa hidden in the middle.

RECIPE:  

Chocolate Lebkuchen

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate pieces

¾ cup honey

2 tablespoons water

1 ¼ cup sugar

¼ cup orange juice

2 eggs, beaten

2 3/4 cup sifted flour

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1-teaspoon ground cloves

2 teaspoons ground cardamom

1-teaspoon baking soda

1-teaspoon baking powder

1 cup unbalanced almonds or chopped pecans

½ cup dried cherries

½ cup candied orange peel

2 tablespoons whisky (optional)

Use a double boiler. Add chocolate pieces, honey, water, and sugar, cook, stirring, until chocolate is melted and all is blended. Remove from stove. Add orange juice, stir. Reserve. 

In a large bowl, combine flour, spices, baking soda, and baking powder. Stir to mix. Add eggs to chocolate mixture. Add chocolate mixture to dry mixture and stir. Add nuts, cherries, and orange peel.  Stir (Dough will be very heavy and sticky.)  Put dough into greased 9” x 13” pan. You might want to wet your hands to handle the dough. With spatula or fingers, spread the dough fairly evenly in the pan. Cover tightly with plastic wrap (double wrap). Let dough stand at room temperature for two or three days to meld flavors. Bake in 325 degree oven for 30-35 minutes. Do not over bake. Remove from oven when a toothpick inserted is slightly dough covered. Cool, cut as like small brownies.

--Sally Ketchum